It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
