Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he fucked my hip out of place.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
