in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
