It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
