Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
