some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
