So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
