Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize