Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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