im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
