I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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