ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
