Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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