So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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