why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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