All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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