she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
my poor anus
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
