so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
