We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The Olympian is in my bed
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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