the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
