i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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