I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
