Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I AM VODKA MAN
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
