Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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