we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
