Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
