I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
