I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize