can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
