dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
