Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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