U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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