Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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