i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
