I wannas sexs uuuuu
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
