Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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