Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
