So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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