At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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