the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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