your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
