thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
