Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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