Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
