So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
