C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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