WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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