Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
