Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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