What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
