Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize