i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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