you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Randomize
