Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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