as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
