I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
