I wish i was in the wii world.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
