Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
