Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize