MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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