i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
